Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize