You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize