btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize