We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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