Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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