I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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