I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize