she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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