i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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