Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize