So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize