k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize