i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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