Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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