he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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