I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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