I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
A+ Viking dick
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