i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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