I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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