U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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