who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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