i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize