I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize