the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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