they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize