just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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