So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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