If i come over, it means nothing
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize