considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize