the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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