I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize