I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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