How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize