Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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