lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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