U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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