We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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