Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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