someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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