toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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