Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize