Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize