I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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