Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize