How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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