Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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