I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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