I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize