p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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