I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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